her bday card

Its prodigious how much of a great blessing she is
She shines brighter than a full moon,right above where the sea is
My heart could never withdraw,She leaves me in a state of awe
Perfect picture are we,something that the gods could draw
Her freckles resembles the surface of the moon's spots
Her real name is Artemis,resting on the moon's top
I would give up anything,to preserve her in my era
Shes by my side,how could an era be better
And her petite beauty marks,are like the dots of art
Cause she's the god's master piece
And when Im with her I surpass heaven and nirvana
And attain a great master's peace
I aspire she keeps feeding me love till i become obese
We're an heavenly couple,zues and juno,like the gods of Greece
We shall never cease,and her supremacy reign
Halts in my brain
And tell me Artemis,why make it rain?
When your streams of light can pierce and slice
Through those grey clouds of doubt.

Social Worker's Words

"Its a great thing to be as honest as you are,and when you put your all into things,you're able to move mountains.Think about the lives you've saved from the things you've done.You're worth a lot to the world than what you think"

Dream Speech.

I was dying a slow death in my last nightmare.
And what I said while dying stayed in my head and i felt that i should write it.

Now,it was late at night and I was walking home,and i smelt like girl
Not pussy lol but like,some girl's perfume.
So im walking and someone gets out of a white car
and just shoots me repeatably.
And the bullets pierce my flesh in slow motion
And I start to collapse in slow motion as well.
Then its back to normal motion and the car's tires screech
and drive off.This is what i say.

Damn..What the fuck just happened?
Damn man,shit,fuck..DAMN!
Im dead.
Nah chill man I can't die yet,i only lived for 17 years.
What about my mother and her problems with the rent and bills?
What about my little sister and her future problems in highschool?
What about the girls i loved?
Well..I guess it ain't shit between me and them if the term i use is loved.
I bet half of them wont even miss me,they'll probably get over it over some sleep.
I cant lie,i do try my best,maybe im meant to be alone or some shit.
....
...
Why the fuck am I talking about girls while im dying?!
Nah but chill,my main bitch is real
I would marry her..Nah im bugging.
I knew those dreams ive been having were soon going to become true.
But damn,why the fuck i had to get shot? this shit burns.
My brother died over a tumor,why me bullets?
It sucks i wont get to see him though,since he was christian and all
I guess hes in heaven and shit
And imma burn in hell.
Shit that sucks..Hmm
Im going to create an army down there to try to over throw the devil
And then I could run hell and make it a alright place.
Damn,why am I still alive,this death shit is taking for ever.
I havent accomplished shit in my life man.
Im a nobody,i wont be remembered like sean bell or some shit
My death ain't gon be shit dawg.
I bet you this nigga Al Sharpten or w.e his name is aint gonna be on tv for me
Nope
They just going to put me on the news if im lucky
As some Teen in the Bronx,Shot multiple times
And dies
And then they'll cut it off and go to some wall street crises bullshit.
I aint even have real friends while living.
I wonder where im going right now
Damn I really wanted to have 8 kids
And a bangin wife
With a tight pussy
And a nice butt and little boobs.
And then when I was old,have a biggg thanksgiving dinner all the time.
Damn son.
Fuck.
FUCK!
Woah..ok..im not breathing
I thinkkk this is it.
Damn,i wish i go to heaven
Or somewhere peaceful,thats fine too.


and yeap.
thats where i past away and i dont remember anything else.

My troat hurts

From holding back these expired tears.
I haven't shed one in so long
Till today
Till right now
I forgot how it felt to feel
Warm flows of sorrow water
Streaming from my eyes
Flowing to the peek of my cheek bones
And falling like a water fall
Landing on my jeans
Now they're landing on my keyboard
So goodbye for now.

Freewrite to her

From time to time,i see my self gazing
Staring at you're beauty
Which means im staring at you from
the beginning of your hair that connects to your scalp
to the very end of your toe nails

Cause in reality i find everything on you and everything about you beautiful.

Your hugs and kisses take me to a place
a place of pure happiness and joy
and it makes me never want to leave

Maybe its too soon
maybe its not

Your voice over the telephone on late nights
Slowly creep into my eardrums
and break their self into my brain
and then create an image
an image of beauteous
an image of exquisite
an image of beauty
an image of you

And I would really give anything to take us back
To take us back to that very night not too long ago
Where we held each other so closely
and exchanged captivating looks
and i supplied your forehead,cheeks,and neck
with smooth tender kisses

But from time to time i also realize
these words i write or say
mean nothing to you;
You're caught up on the failed ones mistakes and lies
and for some reason they never seem to leave your mind
and thats the sad part

B.I.G Kaleidoscope

B.I.G. Kaleidoscope from joelaz on Vimeo.

Magical [Free write about some emotions]

So after all these days,weeks,months
I think I finally found a girl that has the potential to roll with me
Shes basically everything I want in a girl.

And she laughs at my jokes even if their not funny
and dares to break night with me on the phone
and shit.

She shines like the blazing sun
and her smile makes me smile

She could be my goddess
She could be my Aphrodite
Cause she is the goddess of beauty.

And i catch myself telling her beautiful words i have NEVER
EVER in my life told a human being.
And even though she doesn't believe when i tell her that
and always says "they all say that" or "thats hard to believe"
I don't care,cause i know im not lying.

And these beautiful words i tell this girl are truly magical
magical like her voice that smooths down time for me
magical like her body,that hypnotizes me
magical like her eyes,which i could see myself gazing through for hours
magical like her beautiful lips,which i have yet to kiss,but i know their soft like the petals of flowers

Ella es mi tesoro.